Dildos and Targeting

At a lot of our meetings there is always a grey area. Clients are unable to tell us who they are really targeting. We are always given useless, detailed demographics of various segments, usually ending with that. I guess, over the years we have come to accept this as a norm and with the current status quo, we are quite happy to have the business and forget about getting accurate briefs.

Recently, I was traveling down memory lane, back to my school days. My best friend, Nithi, and I, had just come out of a carnival at Museaus College, to figure out where we should hit next. The options then, were similar to now I guess, we could have gone to Valentino’s or Chapter 1, if we wanted night club activity, or walked in to a bar if we really wanted to down a couple of gin shots. We took time to decide. We had been to all these places before. The need of the hour was to have a fresh experience, and with that on our minds, we landed at the fort bus station at around 3 a.m. I know what you are thinking now – two losers, loafing together! - but read on.

The moment we got there, a long held notion we had was broken – night clubs weren’t the only places really happening in the wee hours. The Fort bus station had more to offer. There were the musicians, the dancers, the crowds, food, drinks and even a paid-for-companion for a while, if you really wanted one. At around 4.am, a man clad in national, arrived with a couple of boxes and a ‘pedura’. (a mat) He took his time, finding a prominent location and started arranging his little bottles neatly on the mat. Once everything was placed right, he started his pitch. He had all kinds of oils and powders for a variety of conditions, from sinusitis to premature graying. He sold many jars, bottles and powders that night. Then came the real climax, when he opened another cardboard box, and started pulling out some rubber dildos. I had absolutely no idea I was in for a marketing lesson on targeting.

His pitch was brilliant – it was in sinhala and obviously I can’t do justice to it in English.

“Don’t let an empty mind wonder in to your neighbor’s in the night”

“Buy one for your partner who misses you dearly in the night. In the absence of your tool, give her the right one to satisfy her”, he dangled the 12 inch dildos at the crowds.

Only now does it make sense – he had got his segmenting and targeting right. Most of the folks at the bus stand were people traveling from out station areas, and being away from their spouses was a part of their everyday life. Dildos had a role to play, in keeping their families in tact, and saving the men’s pride by preventing their women from straying. Naturally, he sold a box full of them.

I wonder why marketing folks can’t get these basics right – after all, aren’t they supposed to know it? I offer them a simple remedy – spend one night at the fort bus station. It could be their best marketing lesson. J